Soaring Through Blue

the smudged red lipstick of fall




Oh, fall. You creep up, stealthily, upon us, as summer wanes farewell, only to pounce, greedily, upon the green leaves of summer, turning them red as the sultry red lipstick of which teenage girls dream as they long to be sophisticated and grown.

Oh, fall. I woke this morning, to see that the leaves on the tree, outside the window, were mostly gone in the night, spirite off by the wind and the rain, to be held ransom against the sun. Oh fall, you're very nearly winter.

The red leaves are vanishing as quickly as the sultry red lipstick of grown women is likely to smudge off.

Oh, fall.

You're definitely here, now. Defiantly, here.

This morning, rain wept down the window panes. My breath remained in the air as I went out to get the paper, like a cloud through which I walked, astonished. The oven sat, beseechingly, wanting to be turned on, warmed with a fiery glow, ready to accept gluten-free baked goods.

Time to bake.

Yes, I know. We baked all summer. But now it's just more...urgent. The baking, it calls to me: "Shasta! Warm your muscle memory with dough, with batter, with melted lard and soft butter, with the little bags of flours! Come! Bake! Be at one with your oven and stand mixer!"

How can I resist that quotidian clarion call?

Wondering what to make for dinner tonight, I put the question to Twitter: what tastes most like your home to you?

The answers moved me so deeply, so profoundly, that I simply could not keep them to myself. I must share.

Oh, I must.

@iheartfood Oh, that's easy! roast beef and mashed potates with gravy. Yummers.

@cookingisdabomb Oh god. Fried chicken, in lard. Swoon.

@forkandswoon No question, fried mashed potatoes and some kind of meat. Swoon and a half!!!

@dinnerisready O Shasta! piles and piles of meat on a groaning table! Yummerswoon!

@hotdoglady Wiener casserole. oh GOD. YES. Uh uh uh.

@eatmypie Really? You have to ask?

@gogetyourown Anything packaged, especially if all you have to add is water and maybe stick or two of butter. Yummersly.

@grubonastick Also, the wiener casserole is really good with spray cheese, which is also deliciously homey held right up to the mouth and squirted. But you knew that.

@doihavespinachinmyteeth Oh, I love to help write other peoples blogs! Sara Lee cheesecake deep fried in lard, every time. Hands down. Yummerific.

@gotmyswoonon Ice cream in the shape of a baked potato. GOD I LOVE THAT BLOND LADY SHE IS SO TALENTED!!! Swoonity-swoon-swoon swoon!!!! LOL!!!!

@fearthegluten O Shasta, your question moved me so. *sob* I would say my grandma's cheese pie, seasoned with my tears. And a GF crust, of course. Swoontastic, as Gran would say. *wee sob*

@foiegrasivore Superfatted goose liver stuffed with superfatted duck liver stuffed with chorizo and love. Deep fried. *sob*

@bacon bacon

@sensefreechef chorizo pie, my love! get it? choriso pie? hahahahah!!!!!! seriosly, chorizo pie.

@sensefreechef also bread if it wasnt banned in this hosue............i miss bred

@dinnerisswerved Ritz Cracker Mock Apple Pie. So so so so so good.

@NationalAssociationOfPorkGrowers Thank you for your interest in the NAPG. We do not have any blogging positions open at this time. Good luck in your future endeavors.

@chefdisinvited FISH TACOS, bitch. Eat it.

@dinnerettu LOL!!! What a question. So many things taste like my home. Dust bunners for one! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!11!!!1!

@shastaliciouslover Um, hello? any recipe you ever wrote, Shasta!!! what a dumb question!!! you're the bestest ever!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxox!!!!

@lostmyjob Tuna casserole made with cat food, lately. We really ARE poor, bitch. Enjoy your fucking confit.

@ruthreichl Do I know you?

@nationallardboard We're looking for a spokesmodel for our organization. Send resume, head and full body shots, and 500 word essay on Why Lard Should Replace Fresh Vegetables.

@charleenpewny OMG SHASTA!!! long time no twats!!! Me and Blanton love the Swanson tv dinners with the chicken that looks orangish on the lid, comes with peas and mash potatoes and chocolate pudding but he won't eat his peas unless I put honey on them!! or pancake syrup!!! Yummers, Blanty! YUMMERS!!! we have that like every other day almost since Gary left, that no good ratfink jerkwad dickhead a-hole!!! (you know what i mean by that last one, Blanton is sitting right here a;slkdf;alksjdf see??? so hard to type with a toddler on my lap, you wouldn't believe it's this hard would you!!!anyway i didnt want him to read asshole so i spelled it a-hole, i don't think he can read yet but you enver know, he does know how to take his diaper off and walk down the street butt naked with his little dingdong all out in plain veiw of the neihbors!!! OMG!!! i swear!!!!!!!!!!!)

@darleenpewny Hey, Charleen. Gary says hi. (Not really.) (Bitch.)

@ilovemesomeswineflesh Really fatty cuts of pork rolled up and tied and stuffed with really fatty pork sausage. Home. Swoon. Yum. Swoon, again.

@momofshasta Honey, call me sometime? We'd love to see Midget Peanut again. She must be so big by now.

@momofshasta oh and in answer to your question, Gino's Pizza Kit but they don't make it anymore.

@Yoko I have no idea who you are. Why do you tweet at me? Peace.

@sensefreechef a;lkajdf;lkajfd;lakjsdf;laksjfd

@sensefreechef tat was midget Peanut, she wants you to get off the computer and change her diper.

@sensefreechef if midge Peanut could talk she would say that anything her papa makes tatses like the house and makes him cry like a big baby *SOB*SOB*SOB*SOBBING*

@ashley_69 Check out my big bazoombas, guys! Free links! Lots of pics! Yummylicious!!! [link omitted]

@beatles4evah Fish & chips. Or kidney pie. And a pint of Guinness. And a sticky toffee. Oh god I'm so knackered. And chuffed. Masses of chuffed.

@Gloria5828 because there was no M to C!!!!! i am disturbed!!!!!

@foodieisnotaswears Well, nothing out of a box, of course. Home never tastes like boxes.

@mikeontopchef Moron? I'M a moron??? Really. Do you kiss your tv producer with that mouth? Oh, wait, you don't have a tv producer. Ha ha.

@thesoupsonyou Campbells Cream of Mushroom soup. GOD THAT STUFF IS SO GOOD. Yummers X3!!! I would eat it cold even. Undiluted. Then you can use a fork.

@saveur Good to know that you think we're a bunch of amateurs here at Saveur. Guess that means you're not interested in writing a piece for us. Thanks for letting us know.

@natalieD Wiener wangs! You take your Wonder bread, you stick a wiener on it like so, you lay your cheese on there just so, and stick it in the broiler! Shut up, dawgs! Wiener wangs!

@NationalCounselonDuckFat I'm sorry, but we don't have any blogging positions open at this time. We will keep your resume on file for future reference. Thank you for your interest.


Hungry yet? Well, you should be.

What I liked so much was that each of these Twitter Messages was different. If we were lucky enough to have parents who cooked halfway decent food for us, and not a bunch of crap like TV dinners and pizza kits and stuff out of boxes and cans and jars, all of it with gluten, and the same four vegetables year in and year out, then we loved the food our mothers made for us. Hypothetically.

What foods taste like home to YOU? (And do you mind if I publish? It's so hard to think of new material, these days.)

yes,
Shasta